Session 006
Table of Contents
Session 006: Interview with the Vampire’s Tailor #
Date: 2026-07-11
Chapter 1: The Hag’s Ledger #
The tale begins in the gloomy, overcast midday of Laurelight Hill, with our heroes— Al, Helena, and Rhea—catching their breath in a narrow cobblestone alley after fleeing the Ravenous Bakery. Clad in neon ‘Smash Sisters’ wrestling merchandise, the trio assessed their stolen spoils. Among their ill-gotten gains was a mysterious stationery list penned by the baker Lucinda, containing three names of interest: Prince Aduard of Ustalav, Al’s contact Stacee Thistletop, and an unknown third party: Rax Yubby.
Knowing they had a vampire’s employee to interrogate and a hag to hunt, the party decided their first priority was gathering information—and perhaps some magical disguises—in the working-class district of Ashtown.
Chapter 2: The Royal Frog & The Wise Amphibian #
Seeking out hag lore, the party entered The Royal Frog, an eclectic apothecary and pet boutique run by Portia Cherrycheeks and her business partner, an incredibly intelligent bullfrog named Barnaby.
Through generous coin and a mutual amphibious respect with Rhea, Portia and Barnaby revealed terrifying truths about the local hags:
Sweet Hags: These deceptive creatures feed on destitute children, turning their victims’ corpses into candy-Frankenstein guards armed with giant lollipop swords.
Iron Hags: Malevolent beings that kidnap babies and imprison them, feeding entirely on their suffering and anxiety.
Cuckoo Hags: Nightmare-weavers who prey on dissatisfied youth, trapping them in illusionary dream worlds to siphon their souls.
The party dropped a small fortune on provisions. Al secured potions of Illusory Disguise, Helena and Rhea purchased a lethal Stone Fist Elixir and vials of Spearfrog Poison. Rhea also procured a tiny gold-and-ruby crown for herself.
Before leaving, the wise frog Barnaby nudged a paper toward the group: a freshly printed wanted poster for the party, authorized by Captain Tharivol, for abductions at the Greystove Metalworks. Utilizing her quick wits, Helena took a pen to the poster, defacing their likenesses with eyepatches and peg legs to throw the Hellknights off their scent.
Chapter 3: Funding the Underground #
Before their evening rendezvous, the party made a stealthy detour to the Pharasmin Temple in the The Cairns district to visit Pearl. Al, seeking to wash his hands of Lucinda’s tainted bakery gold, donated 18 gold pieces to the Bellflower cause to help secure a fake ID and safe passage to Andoran for the refugee Corvan. In a showing of solidarity, the temple crew was also gifted an official Smash Sisters t-shirt, expanding the sisterhood’s ranks.
Chapter 4: Loose Lips & Cold Ovens #
As night fell, the party enacted a two-pronged infiltration of The Night Owl, a dingy, working-class tavern in the otherwise upscale Laurelight Hill.
The Ex-Employee: Helena and Rhea met with Fistula, who was devastated after being fired by Lucinda that morning. Drowning her sorrows in dwarven ale, a heavily intoxicated Fistula agreed to help the Smash Sisters enact petty revenge on the bakery. She also let slip a bizarre detail: Lucinda strictly randomly leaves one of her four ovens completely unused and cold every single day for unknown reasons.
The Vampire’s Tailor: Meanwhile, Al downed his potion, magically transforming into the sultry wrestling manager “Miss Fortune” to meet Clerebold, an employee of the vampire Radvir Masterfully weaving a web of lies, Miss Fortune convinced Claribold she was trying to book wrestling venues for the undead demographic. The smitten tailor happily spilled his master’s secrets, revealing that the local vampires run the Haraday Theater—an old, beat-up venue that hides a forgotten, secret trapdoor on its stage leading directly into the vampire underground.
Chapter 5: Girl’s Night! #
The peaceful espionage shattered when a pompous, cleft-chinned elf approached the Smash Sisters’ table to flirt with the grieving Fistula. Without a word, the drunken baker unleashed a catastrophic right hook, instantly caving the elf’s face in and triggering a massive bar brawl.
Buzzed Moments of Glory:
The Shadow Manager: As chaos erupted, Al desperately cast Calm on the brawlers, before deploying his Cloak of Shadow to blanket his allies in supernatural darkness.
The Poisoned Pints: Utilizing incredible sleight of hand, Helena bought a round of drinks for the raging patrons, stealthily lacing their cups with her new Spearfrog Poison. The toxins immediately took hold, causing a localized rash and eating away at their vitality round by round.
The Flying Baker: A completely plastered Fistula attempted a daring flying elbow drop from the top of a table. She missed entirely, crashing prone onto the floor. Al rushed through the shadows to deliver a massive, magical heal that not only knit her wounds but instantly, and horrifyingly, sobered her up.
The Sisterhood Strikes: As the poisoned drunks overwhelmed the party, Helena unleashed her fury, delivering a thunderous left hook that dealt significant damage, nearly separating a man from his senses. Not to be outdone, Rhea pinned an attacker against the bar and executed a devastating critical strike, completely shattering the man’s eye socket and rendering him instantly unconscious.
Chapter 6: Scried, Lied, and Toasted #
With guards rapidly approaching, the party fled the tavern as Rhea shoved a massive, heavy brazier in front of the door to block their pursuers.
Once safe in the alley, Rhea noticed her magical ring blinking rapidly—someone, likely the hag Lucinda, was scrying on them. Al brilliantly capitalized on the surveillance, loudly announcing a fake plan to search for refugees at the Greystove Metalworks. The deception worked flawlessly, sending the city guards rushing off toward Ashtown and leaving Laurelight Hill vulnerable.
With the heat off their backs, the party and a newly sober Fistula marched toward the Ravenous Bakery to enact their midnight revenge. Along the way, Fistula excitedly partook in more liquid courage, sharing her dream of opening her very own establishment, asking the Smash Sisters for help naming her future empire.